Growing Up

Often as we grow into our adult selves, we feel confused. What is all the confusion about? Usually it is because through the years we have lost track of our True Selves. We are confused because our False Self has kind of taken over and we are not sure what we think, feel or believe anymore. The most common reason for this is our conditioning. Through the years we have been conditioned to take on everyone else’s truths…instead of our own. Why would we do that? It is very natural…starting out as babies we see that what we do create a reaction in others. We cry, they come pick up…or not. Right there is the beginning of our conditioning. We cry, they happily come and love us = we are worth paying attention to, our needs matter. We cry, they come pick us up with a unhappy or stern face and hold us uncomfortably = they are angry, we should not cry, what we feel or want does not matter. We cry and they don’t come or worse come in angry = we better not make a sound; they don’t like it when I cry or it is unsafe to make noise…better stay quiet. That all happens within less than a year of life!

Next we are in our “terrible twos” and just about everything we do drives our caregivers crazy! Then maybe as a survival mechanism, we start to figure out it might be best to become invisible. So now we may have learned by the age of 3 or 4 that we best be quiet and stay invisible the people around us are not very happy! And so it goes on into school, not to much of a different story for many of us.

See what happens is we see ourselves reflected back like a mirror by the people who are in charge of our care as children. We believe that reflection regardless of if it is a good, clear or even valid! As children we believe what the adults are reflecting back at us…adopt it as who we must be whether that’s true or not, then take that same message of who we are into adulthood. So now you may be able to see where the confusion comes in. All these messages from people who may or may not have dysfunctional patterns which would not be a clear and accurate reflection of who you really are!

When this happens we go into adulthood with a clouded vision of who we are. We wonder why we don’t feel happy, satisfied with our work, we over eat or drink to escape these uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes we continue our patterns by getting involved with unhealthy dysfunctional relationships! Often we need help to get back to our True Selves, our True Nature of who we are. That’s OK…people who are willing to do the exploration of self and are successful implementing change usually end up very happy people!

If any of this feels true to you please accept my gift of one *free* session, I would love to talk one on one with you! You can fill in the form to the left or just give me a call 843-343-8956! I will be writing more on the solutions to uncovering your True Self very soon…please keep checking back! Also I would love to hear your comments below!

~Tracy

AKA…The Best Self Coach

This entry was posted on Friday, September 4th, 2009 at 3:38 pm and is filed under Adult Children, Dysfunctional Relationships, Family Advice . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.