FEAR  =  F- false  E- evidence A- appearing  R- real 

All of us have issues with fear; some people are more prone to worry and fear than others. Yet today I hope to help break down the fear that may be plaguing your life with a fairly simple (yet not easy) process!

Whenever we are motivated by f-e-a-r, we need to stop and really examine it. Some people are very adapt at locating what is *really* going on with them during times of crisis…others need help to even identify what is really motivated the upset. Here are some emotional symptoms that will help you identify that the *real* problem is fear.

Symptoms of Fear:

Worry

Anxiety

Confusion

Dulling of senses

Panic

Terror

Dissociation

Process to move out of Fear:

1. The first step in shifting a pattern/problem in our lives is identifying the root of the issue.

Example: let’s say the fear is about financial insecurity; when finding the root of the issue you can journal or meditate after asking yourself the question…”why am I SO scared that I won’t have enough money.”

Then write what comes up for you…more likely than not that IS the root!

1. Next is true acceptance of the origin of the issue. Use a positive affirmation to replace the old thoughts of financial insecurity.

Example: “I realize this fear is not rational, I realize I have this fear because_____, I know that today I have enough $” Be sure that you write your own affirmation and that you can believe your affirmation…it’s your own it!

Notice any resistance and write about it…every little detail matters.

1. Then I want you to watch what triggers the negative thoughts and feelings and always try to take the time to help yourself to feel better.

So this step is more about your feelings. Do you feel anxious, a tightening in your chest, angry? Are you able to nurture yourself enough to move to a better feeling?

1. Forgiveness<<< yes I know blah,blah,blah…you will see I have a different take on forgiveness. I always want you to forgive yourself FIRST!

1. Freedom…also known as letting go…more on this later.

This whole process is fairly simple, yet not easy. You can benefit greatly learning and walking through these steps with me as your coach. If you are suffering with fear now, please take advantage of the complimentary session by signing up in the form on the left sidebar of my website http://www.transformingfamily.com

*These deep rooted issues are often a apart of who we are…that’s OK in my book…we just need to learn how to work with them and ourselves so we are not hurt or held back in our lives! Often the process above is repeated over and over when we get triggered…yet it will go quicker and less painfully.*

Often as we grow into our adult selves, we feel confused. What is all the confusion about? Usually it is because through the years we have lost track of our True Selves. We are confused because our False Self has kind of taken over and we are not sure what we think, feel or believe anymore. The most common reason for this is our conditioning. Through the years we have been conditioned to take on everyone else’s truths…instead of our own. Why would we do that? It is very natural…starting out as babies we see that what we do create a reaction in others. We cry, they come pick up…or not. Right there is the beginning of our conditioning. We cry, they happily come and love us = we are worth paying attention to, our needs matter. We cry, they come pick us up with a unhappy or stern face and hold us uncomfortably = they are angry, we should not cry, what we feel or want does not matter. We cry and they don’t come or worse come in angry = we better not make a sound; they don’t like it when I cry or it is unsafe to make noise…better stay quiet. That all happens within less than a year of life!

Next we are in our “terrible twos” and just about everything we do drives our caregivers crazy! Then maybe as a survival mechanism, we start to figure out it might be best to become invisible. So now we may have learned by the age of 3 or 4 that we best be quiet and stay invisible the people around us are not very happy! And so it goes on into school, not to much of a different story for many of us.

See what happens is we see ourselves reflected back like a mirror by the people who are in charge of our care as children. We believe that reflection regardless of if it is a good, clear or even valid! As children we believe what the adults are reflecting back at us…adopt it as who we must be whether that’s true or not, then take that same message of who we are into adulthood. So now you may be able to see where the confusion comes in. All these messages from people who may or may not have dysfunctional patterns which would not be a clear and accurate reflection of who you really are!

When this happens we go into adulthood with a clouded vision of who we are. We wonder why we don’t feel happy, satisfied with our work, we over eat or drink to escape these uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes we continue our patterns by getting involved with unhealthy dysfunctional relationships! Often we need help to get back to our True Selves, our True Nature of who we are. That’s OK…people who are willing to do the exploration of self and are successful implementing change usually end up very happy people!

If any of this feels true to you please accept my gift of one *free* session, I would love to talk one on one with you! You can fill in the form to the left or just give me a call 843-343-8956! I will be writing more on the solutions to uncovering your True Self very soon…please keep checking back! Also I would love to hear your comments below!

~Tracy

AKA…The Best Self Coach