Archive for the ‘ Communicating With Parents ’ Category

5 Steps To Deepen Your Families Connection

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

*A Special Report*

1. Communicate clearly, yet compassionately.

• Clearly only comes from your Authentic/True self, you need to be connected with your true self to be communicating clearly. When connected to your true self you are not acting or reacting from ego, inner child or your conditioning. You are communicating clearly because you know it is your truth!
• Compassionately means you are communicating with love and respect. You treat the other person or people the way you would want to be treated.
• Read more… http://www.transformingfamily.com/content/compassionate_communication.asp

2. Be an active listener.

• Active listening involves fully listening to the speaker. Often we do not fully listen, we are often half listening or thinking about our reply instead of fully listening.
• Active Listening is a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the attention on the speaker. The listener repeats, in the listeners own words, what they think the speaker has said. The listener does not have to agree with the speaker…he or she must simply state what they think the speaker said.
• This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood. If the listener did not, the speaker can explain some more.

3. Trust that the other person is being honest.

• Trusting the other person (when I say people or person, I am always including children!) is doing the best that they can with what they have to work with.
• Sometimes other people will not have the same tools that you have; the best way to “teach” something is through modeling it! So practice these steps, share what you know in a respectful way and they will follow your lead.
• Trust that they will!

4. Show love in a way the other receives well.

• What I mean by this is that everyone feels loved in different ways. Some people feel loved when touched physically; with a hug or a kiss. Others like to spend time with their loved one. Some people feel loved when they receive gifts and others feel loved through verbal communicatation.
• If you are interested in finding out what your love language is, here is a test you can take… http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

5. Have FUN with one another!

• Spend time doing what the other person/people like to do.
• Often in families where people are aloud to be who they really are, there are so many different hobbies and interests it may be hard to keep up  Yet, it is important to try.
• One person may like playing video games, ask to join them, learn how to play that person’s favorite game. Others may love going to parks or playing outside, make sure to take time to do that with them…you get the picture!
• Show that you know them, show that you care about what they like!

Please take my Best Self Quiz and recieve my e-mails, sign up for both in the right side bar! Thanks and I look forward to connecting with you soon!

Posted in Communicating With Children, Communicating With Parents, Consensual Living, Dysfunctional Relationships, Family Advice, Marriage & Partners, Parenting Issues | 4 Comments »

Trade In Your Family

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

by Ingrid Elfver

Fall is officially here and, before you know it, you might find yourself challenged by family members that you don’t see or talk to very often. Well, NOW is the time to do something about it.

Family is one of the most important foundations that we have, but not all family members are the same. There are those that empower you and help you grow — those who believe in you, understand you, and help you reach the stars. And then there are those that hurt you, try to hold you back, and seem to want to see you fail.

Every family has its good side. But there is also a darker part of family dynamics that can be negative, limiting, and destructive. Some of those unproductive thoughts and patterns can be generations old. And those who are engaged in them often aren’t ready, willing, or able to admit or change their bad behavior.
Are you clear about which family members are helping you and which ones are holding you and your business back? Do you believe in your dreams enough to begin setting better boundaries? Do you know that you have to surround yourself with kindness, support, and love — if you’re going to live your full potential?

If you’re going to share your gift with the world, make a difference, and enjoy your life, you have to step away from people who are negative, destructive, or disempowering — and you have to let some people go completely. If you want to be fully empowered in what you think and do, you have to make a conscious break from the people in your life who are holding you back (no matter who they are).

Imagine yourself involved in only healthy and empowering relationships. You’re surrounded by people with the same goals and desires as you. They are supportive of your business, and they are supportive of who you are. You don’t have to explain why you’re an entrepreneur, why you have big dreams, or why you work as hard as you do.

You deserve to be surrounded and supported by a peaceful and loving family (and friends). You deserve to keep pursuing your dreams. You deserve to live the successful and harmonious life that you know you were born to live. You deserve to be the incredible YOU that you were born to be.

Elfver is the world’s leading mindset expert helping women (and highly evolved men) build their business and brand. For more than 20 years she’s been helping people in all industries build wealth and happiness – from the inside out.

Originally from Sweden, Ingrid now lives in the United States where she works with an elite group of mentoring clients around the world by phone. Although Ingrid is known for her Seven Secrets of Wealthy Women Entrepreneurs, she is most known as an expert on what she calls “The most important asset held by every woman in business – her mindset.”

Ingrid’s syndicated weekly column The Woman Entrepreneur, mentoring program, and online My Muse Membership help women in business expand their vision of what’s possible for them; see the gap between where they are and where they want to be; develop a winning mindset; and take massive positive action.

Website: www.MyMuse.info

Posted in Adult Children, Communicating With Parents, Dysfunctional Relationships, Family Advice, Marriage & Partners | No Comments »

About Conformity

Friday, September 11th, 2009

This Article is in response to this readers comment/question after reading my post called Parenting Curriculum. Thanks for the great question!

Tracy, I’d love to hear more of your thoughts about dealing with external pressure to conform to outside imposed criteria, for instance in interactions with parents and others (i.e. neighbors) who may be feeling threatened by our lack of parenting curriculum.

I will start with this awesome quote from JFK…

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. -John F. Kennedy

First of all, I congratulate anyone strong enough to go against the grain of society and follow their personal beliefs! I also know from experience that it is not always easy and you/we will come up against lots of resistance to our ideas. I’m not talking about doing anything against the law here; I’m talking about our rights as humans to dare to think for ourselves. Dare to not send your kids to school or parent without arbitrary consequences or punishments. These things do threaten some people like the reader above spoke about.

I will also turn your attention back to self…imagine that! Turn your attention back to everything is a choice, you can choose to feel uncomfortable or defensive or you can choose to live in the Joy of your choices !

How do you deal with interactions with others that do things differently than you? Possibly even totally disagreeing with what you are doing…very carefully and with grace! Start with self acceptance! We are all different individuals; we have different needs, personalities, and backgrounds. We bring our own gifts and baggage along for the ride. Yet, if we are truly accepting of self and the choices we are making, things usually have less charge. Less charge means we just accept ourselves and others for who they are and the choices we/they make without judgment!

Acceptance is an interesting thing, we usually have to start with self and then it flows out toward everyone else. That being said, people who are judging or acting as though they are the all knowing are really just reflecting their own judgment of self. Of course, usually unaware of their own lack of self acceptance. The same is true with judgment; if we judge another we are truly judging ourselves! I know I’m being a little tudy-fruity…airy-fairy here, yet if you take a moment and breathe deeply and soak it in, it really will help you to not focus on what others are thinking of you!

You are not alone; I have heard this from many people and have experienced it myself! Again what I found brought the most peace for me and my family was keeping my eye on the prize…which in this case is my belief system and living in JOY with my family! Not taking their comments personally is also VERY helpful! *TrusT* yourself first and foremost, you are the expert about your family!!

*REMEMBER*

Self Acceptance, Self Acceptance, Self Acceptance, Self Acceptance!!!!!!!

Posted in Communicating With Parents, Consensual Living, Dysfunctional Relationships, Family Advice, Marriage & Partners, Parenting Issues | No Comments »